TODAY, SAID FATHER DWYER FROM THE TV, his ruddy cheeks glowing, masterfully powdered up by Crisis Johnson the makeup technician, looking like a chipmunk, Today, we will learn how to create banana pancakes, yummy, yummy—and notice I said the word create. Not make. Humans from the dust of the earth do not create. God creates. Now, of course you know, I’m not God. And I say I create. How can that be? I just said only God creates. Well, here’s why I can create. Because I am coming out of hundreds and thousands of TV screens on great ships all over the world. You know how they say God is everywhere? Coming out of the screens, I’m damned near everywhere. So, out there, to you, it’s like—a creation. But, now, if you were here—here with me in the studio—what you would hear would not be a creation. I would just be making something from stuff that God created. Now, this leads to a line of discussion that I doubt we want to go through here. You know, said Father Dwyer, waving a super-long wooden spoon all around all directions, spattering and spattering even the edge of the camera lens with some ugly sauce, anything can be argued about. Everything can go a dozen ways. So, I choose rigidly to just go one way. I choose to believe I create these pancakes. Like God creates. Ok? Now that that is settled, I will peel these yellow lovelies and make you glad we’re not making brass feet for some hippo. That would be too big and hard. This is why I took up cooking instead of rolling out ingots of iron steel aluminum or gold. I can’t do that but I can do pancakes; pancake after pancake after pancake and all—I may not be a God, but no harm in feeling like one—

 

JIM MEIROSE’s short work has appeared in numerous venues. His published books include Understanding Franklin Thompson (JEF pubs, 2018), Sunday Dinner With Father Dwyer (Adelaide Books, 2018), and Le Overgivers au Club de laRésurrection (Adelaide Books, 2018). www.jimmeirose.com